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It is EVERYWHERE
If you are a teenager, which means if you are in middle school or high school, sometimes February can be just as harsh for you as it is for adults. Our society loves young love and you see it everywhere! Media. Music. Books. Pictures. Your Peers walking around the hallways. It is EVERYWHERE. I know I said that twice, but I am making a point. Now my personal viewpoint, especially after working with youth age for the past four and half years is you shouldn’t date yet, but that is a tangent for another time.
In reality, you are dating or your concept of dating. I mean seriously, can you even drive yet? But there are a lot of you that aren’t and I am here to give you some comfort in this time of lovebirds, flowers, and chocolates.
Single Teenager’s Nightmare
Many of you look at this time of year and think you are unworthy or ugly or too fat or whatever negative viewpoint about yourselves come to your mind. (I am telling you, you are wrong, but we will get to that). Watching your best friend giggle at some lame line their boyfriend came up with can make you vomit. And you’re trying not to still because she wants you to come over and help her pick out the right outfit for their “date.” Honey, you are not alone and I have been there. I mean you are happy for your best friend, but inside you just wish it was both of you picking out cute little outfits. By the end of hanging out, you want to climb into bed with a tube of ice cream and either a romantic YA novel, crying over the main characters love or a slasher novel, where everything is killed. It is literally a Single Teenager’s Nightmare.
Some Truth to Hold onto To
The problem is we females (and yes, I am saying me too), we tend to put our worth in relationships, whether it is with friends or a boy. Ladies, our worth isn’t found in our friends or relationships with boys. Our worth needs to be founded in Jesus Christ!
Psalm 139:14 says: “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well!”
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Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
God created us and made us each unique and special. We don’t need the approve of someone who might be in our lives for only a blink of an eye because we have the approval of the one who made us and will love us forever! So even if the boy you have drooled over for the past six months asks somebody else to spend Valentine’s Day together, doesn’t mean you are unworthy of someone’s love. You are already loved more than any mortal man can give.
What to Do on Valentine’s Day
Like I said, you don’t need a man. There are many things you can do to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Get a group of friends together and hang out.
Go to the movies together.
Grab dinner and socialize.
Go bowling or ice skating (roller blading if you are down south).
Have a sleepover.
Yes, many people view Valentine’s Day about couples and their love, but we have a love for friends, right? Why not celebrate those relationships too! So don’t feel like you need to hide away in your bedroom. You can always find a way to make it a great time of year!
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Have you listened to the newer Alessia Cara Single: Scars to Your Beautiful? No? Take a gander and watch/listen before you read the rest!!!
What is it talking about?
Alessia’s song is rare and beautiful in a time of music when rappers use similes to make women feel like being a whore is the only way to feel beautiful and loved. Most artists I find that have a similar message as her come from the Christian scene, but not her. You can hear Alessia’s single playing on radio stations across the nation. Alessia released it back in 2015, but she started getting nation and global attention from it last year.
Alessia talked about her meaning about the song to iHeart Radio saying:
“Whether it’s in media, or in just regular life. We are expected to do, and to look like so many different things, and it’s so hard to keep up with sometimes. Everything told to us, whether it’s indirectly or directly, they get into our heads and it got to the point where now girls can’t look at themselves and just feel happy anymore. We have to find something that we don’t like, or something that we have to compare ourselves too. And that can get so tiring. It’s just such a wrong message to send to people, and it’s just a bad thing to put in our heads. So I wanted to make a song that was saying to block out all that noise, and to just appreciate yourself, and not go to these extremes to love yourself.”
She speaks so much truth to that! I struggled with body image as I grew up. (Click here to Read my story). The idea that women and girls need to conform to the ways of media has hurt growing girls’ individuality. This can be changed and fought against if we have the courage to stand up!
Emma Watson’s quote says it all for me:
“I don’t want other people to decide who I am. I want to decide that for myself.”
We, as women and young ladies, need to adapt this mindset that we need to decide who we are–NOT the media! Girls, we were made on purpose no matter what others tell you! My last quote I want to share with you is from Psalm 139:14 and it is the base of this website. It says:
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
This is my life verse because it reminds me my heavenly father made me and his work in me is wonderful. The last part of this verse was a challenge to grasp. The verse says I know that FULL well. Full to me in the verse is saying I know it without a doubt. It took me a while to get to that point and it that might be the case for you too. That’s okay. God is patient and He will wait for you but know talking to Him will help the process.
Don’t know what shoes are in this season? Well, one of the popular styles that are continuously growing is gladiator sandals! The great thing about these sandals is they come in all different height sizes, from knee high to ankle. Below are some of my favorite styles and links to where to find them on their brand’s website! So don’t let this trend pass you by! Change up your style with some great gladiator sandals!
Don’t know how to wear them? Don’t worry! The are very versatile, going with semi-formal to casual. You can see in the picture to the left that you can pair them with a cute pair of denim shorts and button up to walk around town in. So check them out and have some fun with them!
“I’m tugging at my hair/ I’m pulling at my clothes/ I’m trying to keep my cool/ I know it shows/ I’m staring at my feet/ My cheeks are turning red/ I’m searching for the words inside my head
[Pre-Chorus] (Cause) I’m feeling nervous/ Trying to be so perfect/ Cause I know you’re worth it/ You’re worth it/ Yeah”
I started speaking without thinking, letting everything out, “Every week like clockwork I see you. We are apart of the same group and there is some foreign alien inside of me that makes me think I have to look perfect–not like I used to be. Ten years ago I would wear baggy jeans, a baggy t-shirt, and a huge sweatshirt with no make-up or purpose to my hair. Now? Now, I tend to be more girly. I now fuss over my hair, perfecting my curls or styling it up. Even the part had to be precise. Then I rummaged through my closet, trying on multiple outfits, throwing the rejects onto my bed. I even sat in front of the vanity mirror, blending, shaping, and painting the colors and shades onto my face for an “airbrushed” look. When I finally gazed into the reflector of lies I saw me, but maybe trying to hard. Sadly, there have been many times I might not like my hair or my outfit and I go back to the rummaging or sculpting. Not tonight. Tonight I was happy with me and I didn’t let the liar change my mind.
So, I grabbed my messenger bag and keys, headed out to my car for the drive here. Everything I do around you is intentional. I park in the same area every time just in case one night we walk out the same time because I tend to stay late. I’m always early too. Mostly because my father taught me to be super early to everything, so it helps that you have to be here early as well. The problem is the interacting. We are friends, which helps, but when I get near you, my heart thuds and all I seem to talk about is all business. My nervousness makes me fear getting too personal, because if I do will you notice? Shouldn’t I want you to notice?”
“[Chorus] If I could say what I want to say/ I’d say I wanna blow you away/ Be with you every night/ Am I squeezing you too tight/ If I could say what I want to see/ I want to see you go down/ On one knee/ Marry me today/ Guess, I’m wishing my life away/ With these things I’ll never say”
“I have this image of what we could be. We believe the same things, have similar humor, have some complimenting interests, and we both have the same passion for this group. It gives me hope that someday you might realize I could be more than just a friend. The problem is I will never say anything…”
It don’t do me any good/ It’s just a waste of time/ What use is it to you/ What’s on my mind/ If it ain’t coming out/ We’re not going anywhere/ So why can’t I just tell you that I care
“Part of the reason I wanted to leave Michigan in the first place was to start a new. A fresh start to maybe get you out of my head, because I see you multiple times a week. A heart can only take so much and nothing will happen as long as I stay silent. Remember when I told you I was trying to move? Remember what you said to me? I do. I have played it over and over in my head, wondering if there is another message in it. Remember when I told you it didn’t work out? Remember how your smile reached from ear to ear? I do. I just pray it isn’t false hope.”
“What’s wrong with my tongue/ These words keep slipping away/ I stutter, I stumble / Like I’ve got nothing to say
“I’ve been wanting to tell you all this for so long…three years actually. I can’t believe I am saying all of this, but it is true. I lo…”
“Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say/ If I could say what I want to say/ I’d say I wanna blow you away /Be with you every night/ Am I squeezing you too tight/ If I could say what I want to see/ I want to see you go down/ On one knee/ Marry me today /Guess, I’m wishing my life away/ With these things I’ll never say/ These things I’ll never say…”
I just stared at myself in the mirror as I couldn’t finish the last line because I don’t want to admit to myself what I feel. I sigh as I pick up my bag and keys to head to the group, leaving behind the words that might forever be stuck in my throat.
(The italic lyrics are from Avril Lavigne’s first CD and the song Things I’ll Never Say)
Even though the weather is going back and forth, it is still spring! You know what that means? Dresses, tank tops, shorts, flip-flops, and maxi skirts can finally be taken out of the musty storage closet. This is my favorite time of year up here in the northern states. When the strong winds come in and blow away the cold weather for a couple months, so we can enjoy the sun and the sand…well, you know the sand we can get at a lake.Let us just take a moment…close your eyes…picture being on the sand…the sun melting into your bones…the cool water on your toes… …
Okay, enough of that. So, a style I want to try this spring and summer are maxi skirts, which will be fun seeing that I am a whopping 5’2″–ish–and those skirts are always a foot or more longer than me, but it will be okay.
There is something about a maxi skirt, which bring a fun elegance to casual wear. Yeah, we have our spring dresses, but for those of us who don’t tan as quickly we want something that will give us a super cute look without the blinding lights of our white legs. Maxi skirts give us that advantage and you can either dress them up or down.
Here are some examples of them dressed down:
Both of these outfits are more casual with either wearing a t-shirt or blue jean button up, but there is still an elegance to them, right? Now here are are two more dressed up maxi skirts that I love:
Okay after seeing this outfits how could you not want at least two maxi skirts in your closet for the spring and summer season!? Worn just right you can make yourself look taller and if you are self-conscious about your legs, it is a great piece to wear to a wedding!
It was written in Zechariah 9:9 that our King would come:
9Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion!
Shout, Daughter Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you,
righteous and victorious,
lowly and riding on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a donkey.
Hundreds of years later the prophecy came true and was written down in Matthew 21: 1-11…
1As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, 2saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me.3If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”
4This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:
5“Say to Daughter Zion,
‘See, your king comes to you,
gentle and riding on a donkey,
and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’ ”
6The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. 7They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. 8A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. 9The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
“Hosanna to the Son of David!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”
10When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”
11The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”
This is a season of celebration, remembrance, and repentance. Palm Sunday was the beginning of a the journey to the cross. Don’t forget, because our faith stems from these events. If you have never heard the redemption story it is never too late to listen, whether you attend church this session or you go to a bible app and read about it yourself. I will be posting other passages on Good Friday and Easter as well.
Its finally official–Skinny jeans are no longer a fashion trend this season, according to the experts and FLARE jeans are back in! I have been waiting for this moment since they left in the early 2000s. the great thing is I always have a pair of flare jeans in my closet and I am ready to break them back out! Now for you young ones who haven’t lived through a flare era this is what you are missing:
If you don’t love how the flare jeans look with these outfits don’t worry. Other styles are in trending right now as well such as boyfriend cut and cropped jeans. Here are a few examples of those. The first two are boyfriend jeans, cuffed, which is the style and the last pair are cropped jeans:
So there we go! Jean trends are finally cycling and the days of having to squeeze yourself into a tiny pair of skinny jeans is fading away. I will admit that skinny jeans are probably going to come back because this is the third time that I know of flares being popular. So ladies dust off those jeans you have hidden away in your closet, waiting for them to make another round.
And for all you skinny jean only people, you better go shopping.
One of the biggest trends for the spring and summer this year is ROSE GOLD! Rose gold has wiggled its way into the hearts of women everywhere and the great thing is it looks good on EVERYONE! Jewelry designer Ariel Gordon told Huffington Post:
“Rose gold is amazing — it pulls out the blushy undertones in so many different skin colors.”
The biggest debate in the world of Jewelry, much like in the world of sports, is Gold or Silver. In comparison to where I live it is like choosing between IU or Purdue–you just can’t choose both. Well Rose Gold has come along to break the time old debate by practically combining the two together in a beautiful hue of color that both sides of the war can appreciate.
In honor of Rose Gold, Premier Designs is heading full force into this new era of color, contending with some of the top designers out there. We are really excited about our new Spring 2016 line and the beautiful Rose Gold jewelry we have available:
The earring are called Julia, the necklace is called Sun-Kissed, the bracelets are Rosie, and the rings are called Sienna. (The rings we have had since summer 2015). The crown jewel of the collection is our new watch called Rose Factor. What is amazing about our jewelry is that the most expensive piece doesn’t go over $105.
But like I said we aren’t the only ones taking advantage of this amazing new metal that goes with everyone. Many other designers are making pieces for it as well, but like I said before, we have amazing prices for such quality work. Check this out below:
How can you beat that?!? Its time to take advantage of what we have to offer. Now, some of you are skeptical. “Well, the quality must be cheap as the price.” WRONG! We take pride in our product and I personally have had many of my pieces from Premier for almost a year and they look close to brand new still! To put your mind at ease we do have what we call our Golden Guarantee:
So put your mind at ease, we will take care of you! You can get this watch or any of our great jewelry by contacting your local Premier Jeweler. In the Fort Wayne area? Comment below with your email and I will get in touch with you. Live elsewhere? Still comment with your email and I will help you find someone near you!
Sex. One three letter word and I guarantee you I captured your attention. You probably didn’t even read the rest of the title or notice that Sex is the sixth word! This right here is why our generation swoons over songs about grinding, shooting up, and humping instead of words of compassion or small thoughtful, romantic gestures. Our society has pushed sex so much that we think it should be an acceptable part of who we are.
Trust me it isn’t who we are. Sex is a beautiful and powerful act given to us by our almighty Creator, intended for marriage. Yes, I am one of those people who believe sex is a sin outside the context of marriage. Don’t like it? Too bad. Want to move on? Go right ahead, because your opinions are not going to change 28 years of living the way that I have. How have I lived? A virgin—clean and clear and under control.
It’s not like I really wanted to be a virgin this long in my life. I had plans, just like any other girl. I wanted to be married by 22 or 23 and pregnant with my first one by 25 or 26. Well, I am six years late on the marriage and three years late on the whole baby train.
It’s funny, because the first question I get a lot from friends and acquaintances that don’t have the same beliefs about sex that I do is this: How? How do I do it? Great question and it might not be the answer you think I am going to give you. Most of you reading this probably think I am going to give you some holier than thou speech about self-control and how God is keeping me celibate by divine order…blah blah blah. NO. It has been a combination of the way I was raised, my relationship with God, my college education, and the fact I wanted to keep this treasure hidden until somebody worthy earned it.
If you have read my self-image journey you know I have been a Christian since I was twelve, so the mere fact God says don’t have sex until married is kind of a big reason. So yes I am going to throw some biblical truths at you, but I didn’t have the response you thought I might have. Trust me.
Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage should be honors by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterers and all the sexually immoral.”
Where does the marriage bed come from?
Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
I can tell you right now when I learned about when you have sex you become “one flesh” with that person I freaked out and signed the no premarital sex card given to us at youth group right away. Growing up I never really understood the meaning or complexity of sex, but what teenager does? My youth group didn’t help the matter either. I loved the youth group I grew up in, but they had a tendency of making me feel like the slut of the group. The sad part is the most I ever did with a boy as a teen was kiss (no, not making out, just normal kisses) and holding hands. Oh no! Call an exorcist! The girl’s got a devil in her! … … …Sike! You know how to completely destroy a girl’s self-esteem in the church? Tell her that if you had kissed (or anything else “immorally wrong”) another boy, judge them and tell them they should have saved it for their future spouse, who probably is waiting for you (Okay, let’s be honest finding a person who has waited do to anything physical with their future spouse is a one in a billion chance.) I know to some girls this wouldn’t affect them, but as the only girl in my youth group at the time who had kissed a boy I felt attacked by it.
I am sorry, but they went a little above and beyond crazy. You guys want to not kiss until marriage–great, but don’t force it on a bunch of teens who don’t even fully understand the world of sex and sexuality yet. Maybe start by talking to them on how great and powerful it is and not just that we shouldn’t do it. You know telling us we shouldn’t do it will result in one of two things: 1) we run to sex, securing our rebellious nature or 2) we run from sex even in our marriages. Adults think before you speak! (And I am saying this to myself as well, seeing that in the youth group I volunteer at we are…wait for it…talking about SEX in the coming weeks…oh boy).
Another result of not understanding the full complexity of sex is why we have so much hurt and broken families. And I am not talking about understanding it from a religious aspect (which is the best way to), but understanding it from an emotional and physical standpoint. From what I have gathered over my years is sex is more than just satisfying urges, but a union of two people who trust each other with themselves emotionally and physically. I am sorry I don’t want a little black book full of guys who I have given myself to emotionally and physically. I can barely handle my own emotional situations and adding a dead beat guy who only wanted one thing isn’t going to help me out. Society has moved to making it just something we can do for fun with our significant other or even random strangers, which honestly has been going on since bible times and I promise you God has addressed it. Don’t believe me? Well I am just going to put these right here:
Ephesians 5:3 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Matthew 5:28 says “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.“
Yeah, notice the red text? That means Jesus said it personally and to him sexual immorality isn’t just doing the act, but think it as well. Yup, our society is in so much trouble…
1 Corinthians 6:18 says “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
Trust me there is more where those came from, but in light that many people like to oppose the Old Testament I just gave you the New Testament. Want to find more? Open the bible app, go to the search bar, type in sex, and you will find many verses addressing God’s viewpoint.
Again, looking at this for a moment away from religion, consequences couldn’tbe a factor of why I have stayed away from a life of sex, right? Wrong. Possible unwanted pregnancy, health issues (seriously STDs are no laughing matter), emotional trauma, and so much more. Those consequences are the reasons I haven’t given into the social craze even after three boyfriends/boy interests breaking up with me because I said no. Yeah I said no before Tebow made it cool.
Do you know that 71% of teens that were 19 and younger said yes they had sex in 2014? it has been two years, where do you think those numbers are now?
It amazes me to see those type of numbers in our society, because if you ask them why they had sex already I bet it is one of these answers: 1) I wanted to feel loved, 2)he/she would have broken up with me if I didn’t, 3) My parents told me not too, or 4) because everyone else is doing it and it feels good.
In response to the first excuse, it all starts at home. If you don’t have a loving family, who expresses love in a healthy manner kids are going to search for love where they can find it. Thankfully, I was blessed to have a loving family, who are still together after 33 years. A family who sat me down and talked to me about sex and how it was good, but something I needed to wait for. Honestly, having a loving family covers the second excuse as well. If a loving family is supporting their kids and actually talking to them (not just lecturing them) kids are going to see if a boy/girl is making you do something it isn’t healthy.
So I have covered how my relationship with God and my loving family has helped me make this decision on my own, but how could my college education help? I did go to a Christian college and in the midst of homework, sporting events, and hanging out with friends, I was able to start understanding my beliefs more on my own. Middle and high school told me what to believe, but in college I was able to hash out all my questions and concerns about what I believed. In the end some things changed and matured, but one thing that didn’t change was my decision to save sex for marriage. I saw what premarital sex could do to a relationship. I knew a couple who was waiting to have sex until after they were married, but one of the members of the couple had a past before she/he decided to change their life. Watching them grow as a couple I saw heartache and tough times as they hashed out the past. That was something I never had to go through, at least on my end. College, like it should for any student christian or not, opened my eyes to many experiences and knowledge I would have never gleamed if I stayed in the small cornfield infested town of Busco.
I know I am an abnormality and as I continue to age the 40 Year Old Virgin jokes are starting to surface, but nothing is going to change my mind. I see what this society does to the idea of sex and in my opinion it is much more than a upbeat song played in the clubs or the scandalous pictures littering magazine covers and internet sites. That part of who I am is something I want to share with only one other person. I realize my future husband might not have done the same thing I have, but I won’t judge him and I will love him no matter what.
To any girls out there reading this who have lost their virginity or wanting to lose it, it is not too late to make a decision to safeguard yourself. It is a decision you can make everyday and no one can say any different to you. If you are reading this and you are just like me, trying to survive in this sex-driven world, you are not alone. Stay strong and know waiting can be done.
Fashion is everywhere. You are either hot or not in this society. Now, personally I think everyone looks great in their own style! The problem is society has pulled women’s self-esteem down so far that we think not taking pride in ourselves is rebelling against the masses. Yes, technically you are, but there is nothing wrong with being presentable and still maintaining your style and your standards. Premier designs has this great formula that has saved my life multiple times when putting together my outfits. Here it is for you in a visual:
The first step in the formula is to choose your base: black, denim, white, or khaki. Yes, many of these colors can be combined and if you want to combine them great! Even today I am wearing black pants and a white shirt as my base. That is okay.
Second step is the flare of fashion. Yes, I know I spelled flare differently than the stylish “flair,” but I like it better because of the definition “a sudden bright flame or light.” That is what this step is–a bright addition to your wardrobe. This was always the step that I skipped. This could be a colorful blazer or a patterned shirt. It can even be a favorite, fun scarf for the winter months or some bold shoes. Either way make sure your flare is the only bold piece. Mixing many bold pieces together can get tricky and if you are a pro at it great, but if not I would just start at one. For example today my flare of fashion is my favorite red and gold threaded scarf my roommate got me.
The third step is to Frost Yourself! If you are my age or older you might remember that line from “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” with Matthew MccConaughy and Kate Hudson. I love that idea of Jewelry frosting us. It is the topping we need to round out our outfit, just like frosting rounds out a cake. So make sure you don’t forget to add some jewelry. You can go as simple or as extravagant as you want. Arm parties of many bracelets are one of my favorite extravagant ways to wear my jewelry, but you can’t go wrong with a favorite pair of earrings, a fun ring, and a couple bracelets to accent my outfit. My suggestion is if you are wearing a scarf I would count that as a necklace most times. This way you don’t hide a beautiful piece of jewelry and you don’t snag it on the scarf.
So now that you have the formula down (and yes I give you permission to steal and use the formula as much as you want) let me show you some great examples of pieces that utilize this formula I found on pinterest.
This great piece on the left is put together by:J’s Everyday Fashion. She has a great black base, a fun top for the second step and some simple pieces of jewelry to round it out. The example on the right is from the same website and she uses khaki as her base. She uses the same polka dot shirt and that is okay, because the outfit has a totally different vibe and color scheme with the pink highlights.
Below are two more examples for Denim and White. The denim base on the left comes from Style Estate Blog. She even rounds out her outfit in step three with an arm party and yes watches can be involved in that! The outfit on the right is from Aurora Trend. I love what she does! She uses a white shirt as her base and her flare of fashion is her red pants! Love it! Don’t be scared to try something bold like this!
Let me know what you think of the formula and let me see your outfits! Just comment or email me at email@example.com!