So I Never Forget: Part 2

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Today marks 10 years. I know I wrote a short story a few months ago, but I wrote this poem first. It is a re-write from a poem I did many years ago about Josh. If you want to read the whole story click this link. Otherwise, enjoy the poem. josh We love you and will rejoice the day we get to see you again~



Gladiator Sandals Spring 2016

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Don’t know what shoes are in this season? Well, one of the popular styles that are continuously growing is gladiator sandals! The great thing about these sandals is they come in all different height sizes, from knee high to ankle.  Below are some of my favorite styles and links to where to find them on their brand’s website! So don’t let this trend pass you by! Change up your style with some great gladiator sandals!


Don’t know how to wear them? Don’t worry! The are very versatile, going with semi-formal to casual. You can see in the picture to the left that you can pair them with a cute pair of denim shorts and button up to walk around town in. So check them out and have some fun with them!

Gladiator Sandals Spring 2016

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Top Guy fringe shoes

Bamboo sandals

Wild Diva roman sandals

Throwback Thursday to 2009 Spring Break

College Years & Good Times

Spring Break Volume 1

Spring Break
Bekah, Me, & Holly 2009 on Prince Charming Carousel

So this week is spring break for Fort Wayne and it made me start to think about my favorite spring break during my college years. I love looking back at my college years. They were some of the best years of my life! Why? You probably think because I went to party after party, drinking, experimenting, gaining my freedom from the small town life, but no that wasn’t my college life. I am so happy for that. I went to a great college called Southeastern University and if you want to get away from home, but at a safe, God-centered university I recommend them!

SEU gave me the family I have today. The story of how we met can be read in my previous post So I Never Forget. That took place freshman year, and My Self-Image Journey tells of how I met Bekah sophomore year, so my junior year we all were attached by the hips. Spring Break was coming up and I got a call from my mom, which was normal seeing they called me at least once a week to see how I was doing. What was funny was not calling my Dad for two weeks and then when he called I would hear as soon as I picked up, “Well are you alive?” Hahaha Dad… …sigh… …

But the cool news my mom gave me was my brother’s show choir was invited to participate in Disney’s annual show choir competition! Yay! And the competition was on….you guessed it…our spring break! So my parents being the awesome parents they are allowed me to invite my two college besties to spend the week at Disney with us! We would go and watch Busco perform and then spend our time in any park we wanted.

The bonds we already had, grew even closer as we rode the horses on the carousel and watched the fireworks fly over Cinderella’s castle. It created a stronger bond, a bond we still have today. So in honor of spring break here are some of my favorite memories with some of my favorite girls.

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Hope everyone has a great and safe spring break! Make some memories because they are the ones you will have with you forever! I am glad I have these!



Mission Ready (Friday Fictioneers)


copyright to J Hardy Carroll

She hid among the trees, counting the men. One, two, three, she thought as the soldiers patrolled, guns ready. She moved within the trees as if one of them, waiting for her moment, for a slip up.


The mission was simple. Get in. Get the plans. Get out. Her moment came–right at her. The soldier needed to pee, leaving a hole, but he would see her in moments. She unhaltered her silencer. I don’t want to do this, she thought as she stepped out, aimed, and fired as the panic crossed his face at the sight of her.

Word Count: 98

Defining the Generations of Belles Who Love a Good Book

“Dreamy Far-Off Look & A Nose Stuck in a Book”

Defining the Bookworms of the World com has this amazing blog called: Bookfessions. I have never seen it before in my life until today and I instantly fell in love. I grew up reading and reading and reading. 95% of the time my parents truly wonder how they ended up with such a bookworm when both of my parents are more logical and mathematical. Even my brother, who does like to read, has an aptitude for the sciences than I. You put a mathematical equation in front of me and my whole body cringes. Now, I am not saying I didn’t do well in math; I did–until Pre-Calculus, but when I am constantly studying it every day I retain it fine. Once I stop it goes far, far away to a galaxy hidden among the stars.

The one category of knowledge which doesn’t leave are books. You can ask me about a book I read in Middle School and still be able to tell you the main character names, the plot progress and a few minor details that many readers don’t even pick up. I do this in front of my parents a lot in conversation and my dad just gives me the blankest stare, which is quite fun to watch.

So going through Bookfessions fills my heart with so much joy because it gives me the warm feeling that I am not alone in my world of fiction. This tumblr has 1068 confessions of a bookaholic! I have only read the first hundred and I found myself saying “Yup” and “I so do that!” What is it about coming together has a community that brings the emotions to the surface? Well, it is probably because us bookworms have a tendency to be over-emotional anyways. And if you are a lover of books and disagree with that statement you aren’t reading right.


So I started to wonder: “What do I think are the major characteristics of a bookworm/nerd/holic?” I mean I am one and I need something to help define myself because I am tired of trying to make them understand on the spot. This way when I am reading my book and they try to ask me why I read, instead of looking at them with hatred while I try to explain it without killing them I can say four simple words: “It’s on my blog.”


So here we go. Let’s define us 🙂

  1. BookWe emotionally attach ourselves to characters, plotlines, and places of the novel itself.
    • Trust me! If you tell a bookaholic it is stupid to breakdown about a character’s death you will be flogged and shunned, especially if you are family.
  2. We ALWAYS have a book of some type on us. This is why we need big purses, because of our multiple books.
    • A sub-definition of this law of bookworms is you will find us reading ANYWHERE.
      • Road Trips
      • Beach
      • During a Meal
      • Work Break
      • Walking down the sidewalk (Yes it can be done without killing you or someone else. I know I did it all through college going from class to class)
      • Even you can find us bookaholics reading while in line at Disney World or any other long line at amusement parks. (Again, it does happen! I do it all the time when I am having a me day at Disney. Don’t Judge)
  3. When you ask us if we want to go shopping, you better be prepared for spend at least two hours in whatever bookstore is near the shops. If you tell us no then we won’t be shopping with you–ever!
  4. BookThis rule mostly applies to the YA Lit Junkies:  Once attachment to a book occurs multiple times by multiple readers a Fandom is born.
    • Google defines Fandom as “the fans of a particular person, team, fictional series, etc., regarded collectively as a community or subculture.”
      • Examples you will never escape: Harry Potter, Divergent, Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, John Green, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, and others, but never Twilight. Twilight must be purged. (And yes I have full rights to say this because I have read and seen all the books and movies, so yes I can make a comment on them.)
  5. We are a loyal people…well loyal to characters and authors who we have grown to know and love through the words we read on their pages.
    • How to gain our loyalty?
      • Love reading
      • Appreciate our Fandoms
      • Understand our sudden outbursts when our fandom emerges in conversation
      • NEVER tell us the movie is better
      • Giving us a gift? Books and more books and maybe throw in a book gift card or a bookshelf for the books you have boughten me.
  6. We are a sleep-deprived people. If you have to ask why you just need to walk away.
  7. BookIf you are a girl, your favorite Disney princess is Belle. I mean have you seen her library!?
  8. Lastly, being a lover of books is a part of who we are. Yes, there are rules, which are more “like guidelines than actual rules” (Pirates of the Caribbean). And yes these seven above only scratched the surface of being a bookaholic, but each reader is different and unique in their own way. If you are blessed to have this love or to love someone like us, don’t take them for granted, because we are more than nerds with our noses’ stuck in a book. We are Imaginative, Fierce, Passionate, Loyal people who grab hold of life any way we can!

Hollow City (Friday Fictioneers)



Rights go to Rochelle

Friday Fictioneers Photo Prompt Story

I looked out over the city for the first time in the daylight. I had just arrived after dark, among the lighted store signs and street lamps. It wasn’t hard to find work underneath their illusions of self-worth. Now, the city resembled by inner core–hollow.

“Maybe moving here was a mistake…” I whispered to myself, pulling the blanket tighter around my body.

I quickly dressed, grabbing my money on the nightstand. I glanced at the man passed out still on the bed as I walked out, feeling as lifeless as the city.

Word Count: 92 Words

“Things I’ll Never Say” to the One My Heart Longs For

How do I Say this to You

 Things I’ll Never Say by Avril Lavigne

“I’m tugging at my hair/ I’m pulling at my clothes/ I’m trying to keep my cool/ I know it shows/ I’m staring at my feet/ My cheeks are turning red/ I’m searching for the words inside my head

[Pre-Chorus] (Cause) I’m feeling nervous/ Trying to be so perfect/ Cause I know you’re worth it/ You’re worth it/ Yeah” 

I started speaking without thinking, letting everything out, “Every week like clockwork I see you. We are apart of the same group and there is some foreign alien inside of me that makes me think I have to look perfect–not like I used to be. Ten years ago I would wear baggy jeans, a baggy t-shirt, and a huge sweatshirt with no make-up or purpose to my hair. Now? Now, I tend to be more girly. I now fuss over my hair, perfecting my curls or styling it up. Even the part had to be precise. Then I rummaged through my closet, trying on multiple outfits, throwing the rejects onto my bed. I even sat in front of the vanity mirror, blending, shaping, and painting the colors and shades onto my face for an “airbrushed”  look. When I finally gazed into the reflector of lies I saw me, but maybe trying to hard. Sadly, there have been many times I might not like my hair or my outfit and I go back to the rummaging or sculpting. Not tonight. Tonight I was happy with me and I didn’t let the liar change my mind.

So, I grabbed my messenger bag and keys, headed out to my car for the drive here. Everything I do around you is intentional. I park in the same area every time just in case one night we walk out the same time because I tend to stay late. I’m always early too. Mostly because my father taught me to be super early to everything, so it helps that you have to be here early as well. The problem is the interacting. We are friends, which helps, but when I get near you, my heart thuds and all I seem to talk about is all business. My nervousness makes me fear getting too personal, because if I do will you notice? Shouldn’t I want you to notice?”

“[Chorus] If I could say what I want to say/ I’d say I wanna blow you away/ Be with you every night/ Am I squeezing you too tight/ If I could say what I want to see/ I want to see you go down/ On one knee/ Marry me today/ Guess, I’m wishing my life away/ With these things I’ll never say”

“I have this image of what we could be. We believe the same things, have similar humor, have some complimenting interests, and we both have the same passion for this group. It gives me hope that someday you might realize I could be more than just a friend. The problem is I will never say anything…”

It don’t do me any good/ It’s just a waste of time/ What use is it to you/ What’s on my mind/ If it ain’t coming out/ We’re not going anywhere/ So why can’t I just tell you that I care

“Part of the reason I wanted to leave Michigan in the first place was to start a new. A fresh start to maybe get you out of my head, because I see you multiple times a week. A heart can only take so much and nothing will happen as long as I stay silent. Remember when I told you I was trying to move? Remember what you said to me? I do. I have played it over and over in my head, wondering if there is another message in it. Remember when I told you it didn’t work out? Remember how your smile reached from ear to ear? I do. I just pray it isn’t false hope.”

“What’s wrong with my tongue/ These words keep slipping away/ I stutter, I stumble / Like I’ve got nothing to say

“I’ve been wanting to tell you all this for so long…three years actually. I can’t believe I am saying all of this, but it is true. I lo…”

“Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say/ If I could say what I want to say/ I’d say I wanna blow you away /Be with you every night/ Am I squeezing you too tight/ If I could say what I want to see/ I want to see you go down/ On one knee/ Marry me today /Guess, I’m wishing my life away/ With these things I’ll never say/ These things I’ll never say…”

I just stared at myself in the mirror as I couldn’t finish the last line because I don’t want to admit to myself what I feel. I sigh as I pick up my bag and keys to head to the group, leaving behind the words that might forever be stuck in my throat.

(The italic lyrics are from Avril Lavigne’s first CD and the song Things I’ll Never Say)


Today the Lord has Risen! No amount of words I write can express the joy and thankfulness of what God did for us! Here is the passage for the day!

Matthew 28

Jesus Has Risen
1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
5The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”
8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,”he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them,“Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”
The Guards’ Report
11While the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and reported to the chief priests everything that had happened. 12When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, 13telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ 14If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.”15So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day.
The Great Commission
16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Blind Date+Blind Ex+Blind Love =Long Lasting Marriage

My Parents’ Love Story

November 1980. It all started with a blind date, a blind ex, and blind love.

My mom’s friend knew she needed a better guy in her life and set her up with my dad. Mom always tells me she knew of him, being a year older and the reputation of being one of the “Kreager Twins,” but she didn’t actually personally know him. It wasn’t much different the other way around either. I think I remember my dad telling me he knew of Mom because she was miss cheerleader and her senior year she became head cheerleader. As I write that I really wonder where I came from. Mom was athletic, popular, and beautiful and Dad was very bold, a ladies man, and hot, according to the many girlfriends during school. (Just so you know saying my dad was hot back then makes me cringe a little. I mean he is my dad…sigh…). How did the two of them come together and create me? The writer, the reader, the non-athletic, un-popular, un-attached 27-year-old mess of a girl. I wasn’t head cheerleader or even a cheerleader for that matter and I didn’t have all the boys chasing me, but I do look at it as a blessing in disguise. To be honest, if my crazy parents didn’t raise me the way they did my previous blog post about staying a virgin in our society probably would not exist and I would be writing a totally different story.

But I am following a puppy down a long and winding road. Yes, I like puppies better than bunnies. For one you can cuddle them and two they are better pets in my opinion.

So because of the blind date, Mom fell in love right away. She knew he was the one and mostly because of the blind ex-boyfriend of hers. I won’t name names or put too much detail but what I can say he was the worst! I thank God every day that he didn’t keep my mom’s attention! Now I do want to clarify something. Her ex wasn’t physically blind–more metaphorically. He couldn’t see the damage he was doing in their relationship and according to my father he didn’t realize it until Mom and Dad had their date. I kind of laugh at the thought of him begging my father to not go on a date with Mom again. Honestly, I would have loved to be the fly on that wall!

Thankfully Mom had the great sense to leave the idiot and date my dad. Now their actual story is something I would never write without their full permission because like the rest of society relationships have ups and downs, so I am going to just give you the highlights of why I am writing this post. In the midst of their relationship they did have a huge fight and for a moment it looked like it would have ended, but Mom was blinded by God or something because it didn’t end.

I want to clarify something else. When I say God gave my mom a “blinded love” I don’t mean that in bad terms like some people might think. I believe there is a moment in every relationship where you have to make a choice–stay with them or leave. My mom came to that choice and in most circumstances many women would have probably left, but when God has a plan He makes it work His way. My parents are a product of that. God blinded my mother of the faults (that all humans have), so she could see the beautiful future she was to have with my father. I know down the road in their relationship God did the same thing with my father and someday God is going to have to blind my future husband to see underneath all the mess. That is the beauty of having God in the middle of our relationships–he takes care of us.

Anyways, the relationship continued and Dad finally realized how much he loved my mom. I have no idea the day or even month when he proposed, but I know it was winter and snowing because either right before or during the proposal Grandpa Kreager was calling Dad, telling him to hurry up because they had plowing jobs to get to.

Oh Grandpa… …such a Kreager thing to do, but that didn’t change my mom’s mind and she said yes that day. Months later in March on the 26th of 1983, my parents stood before God and vowed to love each other until death do them part.

Today it has been 33 years since my parents married and I am so thankful for their love and friendship. Like every relationship, it is more work than love that gets you through the years. As a youth leader, I have seen my girls struggle over divorces of their parents and I can say happily I haven’t had to endure that. (And my parents know my brother and I never will. It is not allowed. You think I am kidding–I’m not.)

I love to be able to look at my parents and see a great model for when I get married. I have seen the low times and the high times and the times in between. I have seen them face finances and sickness, face loss and love, face raising siblings and letting them go, face moving or staying, face jobs highs and lows, but the center of it all, whether small or large, I saw them run to God for it all. That is what marriage is, placing God in the center of it because marriage is more than just love.

I want to wish my parents a Happy Anniversary and I know there will be much more to come! I love you both so much!Love

God Bless,


Letting Go on the Road (Pinterest Flash Fiction)


Found on Pinterest

Dressed in a heavy jacket and boots for warmth, the man ambled down the back road, worn guitar strapped to his back. The only piece of who he was left.


His wife gave it to him as a pre-wedding gift ages ago. The weight of loss love trailed with that guitar. He stopped and took a long breath, staring up into the snow-heavy clouds. He couldn’t afford the weight if he wanted to survive; he held on too long. He needed to stop his self-inflicted suffering.

He left his past behind him up against a tree along county road 223.

Word Count: 101